BREAKING: #Blaxit Has Begun

Protesters March Over Death Of Freddie Gray

Wednesday morning the United States government approved #Blaxit. Here are the details.

Black publication Awesomely Luvvie coined the phrase #Blaxit amid recent shootings of unarmed black people, aka “the usual.”  The infamous Luvvie article mapped out all the things black people will take with them when leaving the U.S. including peanut butter, Rock N Roll, seasonings, jazz music among many others. Now, the word is based on Brexit, the British separation from the European Union, only it’s better because it doesn’t involve old white men.

Not soon after it’s inception, #Blaxit permeated Black Twitter like the phenomenon that it is. And as all things black go, racist white people are never too far behind to infiltrate and appropriate—except this time it was in black people’s favor!  That’s right, thanks to racist Twitter, white people finally agreed to pay reparations, and there the foundations of Blaxit began.

Millions of racist white people submitted to a #Blaxit GoFundMe campaign, accidentally raising 1 trillion dollars of essentially reparation funds. The government tuned in to all the action and got involved. The government, still oblivious to why this was happening, agreed to allow black people to cut ties. Reports confirm Stacey Dash can stay wherever she’s at.

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