Co-Worker Retires from Being Office’s Go-to Black Oracle

After 1.5 years, Destin has finally stepped down as resident Black Oracle. As they were the only black person at their job, Destin was quickly appointed the proud position of Black Oracle, meaning their magical word on all ethnic, African and ‘ghetto’ topics was bond.

Interestingly, Destin sites the position as the extremely taxing,

“I literally just want to do my job. I didn’t sign up for this.”

Destin stressed that they never actually agreed to the position of Black Oracle. However, their co-workers have a different take. When questioned, Destin’s co-workers proclaim no other person in the office has Destin’s great power. Therefore, they had to give them the responsibility.

“As soon as Destin got here I knew they’d be my go-to for like, all the black stuff. Like, “What’s the new slang the kids are saying?” or  “What’s the latest on Beyonce'” or “Please fill me in on your hair, it’s soooo cute!” I’m so bad at knowing about that stuff and I really wanna go to the source, you know? It’s their job so I feel like they should be proud, I dunno. I don’t get why they wouldn’t like that job.”

According to reports, Destin was successfully able to step down from their position due to a new black hire who their co-workers find to be ‘even more cool.’ However, they are not sure how long they are in the clear.

“It really doesn’t matter what I’m trying to do. It’s like my co-workers hold the power to summon me whether I wanna be summoned or not.”

Destin’s theory seems to hold some weight. Based on research regarding Black Oracles, it is only the white co-worker or colleague that can summon their power. Black Oracles can not emit power on their own, very similar to a genie. Black Oracles can be found at any place of work, often in settings featuring mostly white and very few (or only one) black person (s). They can be summoned simply by asking them a question about black stuff, touching their hair or using AAVE to get their attention. When asked how Destin will spend their newly awarded free time, they said they’d simply be minding their own business.

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