Frowning in Rio Cancelled Due to Harmonious Olympic Games

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All deliberate frowning has been cancelled amid the Rio Olympics. In an International press conference this Wednesday, The International Olympic Committee expressed a new standard to make sure the Rio Olympic Games run smoothly.

“Some (countries) may be at war but we’ve got to kind of throw that under the rug for now. Now’s the time to compete but, you know, without killing anyone,” the lead Committee officer expressed when asked what led to the new regulation.

The committee asked that along with frowning, to also cancel storms, complaints and general frustrations with financial divides as this year’s Olympics takes place in predominately poorer spaces.

Committee members made sure to stress Rio’s building of a whole new transportation system to accommodate its new Olympic visitors and tourists.

“We really care about the tourists and Olympic attendees. They are our priority.”

When asked about the current Rio locals, heads of the Brazilian government shrugged in unison. The Committee warn attendees that there may be moments they “really want to frown” such as the food and water shortage . In many Olympic venues one can expect long lines and not enough sustenance. However, the Committee claim that there are benefits to standing in long lines, citing “great tanning possibilities. ”

Stay tuned for updates to come, involving the Olympic’s love of black and brown athletes (and utter ignorance of black and brown people in general).

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