You may think you’re real but special gender expert Kevin has a hot take: you’re not. Or at least your gender isn’t. Kevin likes to point this out on several occasions, often citing the well known yet still profound phrase,
“There is only man and woman. That’s it.”
So we’ve decided to share some of our favorite ways to disappear each time you’re reminded your gender isn’t real. Enjoy!
1. The Cover Your Face
This one’s so classic, even babies know it! Simply cover your face with both hands and poof: you’re gone!
2. The Magician’s Goodbye
Make sure you’ve got some flour present because now’s the time for a little smoke and mirrors type illusions. Blow your chosen powder in the air and use this clever diversion to disappear.
3. The Secret: Gender Edition
Use the power of attraction to think your non existence into existence. That’s right, will yourself away. All you have to do is totally forget about that whole gender you made up and slowly but surely, you’ll vanish into the universe!
4. The Joker
This one’s perfect for those of you who are super close friends with Kevin. He totally loves you but just don’t buy the whole gender thing. All you need to do is simply tell him your gender, wait for his side eye, and say “Ha! I was playin’!”
5. The Cis Dismiss
This one is absolutely fool proof, and all you have to do is just be cis! Yeah, yeah, yeah “you’re not” or whatever but just BE IT. There are only men and women, nothing else, so clearly you are one of those.